Embrace the Blessing

ETB 50: Embracing the Struggles and Triumphs of Caring for Special Children: The Toenail Odyssey

• Sandy Deppisch

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ETB 50: Ever tried to trim a child's toenails? Now imagine that child has sensory issues that make the task as perilous and nerve-wracking as a high-wire act. Join me, Sandy Deppisch in this candid discussion on Embrace the Blessing podcast, where we navigate the choppy waters of personal grooming for children with disabilities, specifically, trimming toenails. We share my personal struggle with my son Josiah's toenail trimming, a task that ended with exhaustion and frustration, yet also highlighted the resilience and strength of such special children.

In this heartfelt narrative, we unravel the remarkable spirit of children like Josiah who, despite their daily challenges, possess an amazing capacity for joy and happiness. This episode is also a sincere appeal to listeners who might have figured out the remedy for this seemingly mundane but complex task. It's a peek into a day in the life of a parent of a child with disabilities, an opportunity to glean insights on handling similar challenges, and an invitation to marvel at and draw inspiration from the strength and resilience of these special children. Join us as we traverse the joys, the struggles, the victories, and the constant quest for solutions on this extraordinary path less traveled.

Connect with Sandy:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/sandydeppisch
Embrace the Blessing Facebook Group: http://bit.ly/ETB4ME
Website: http://www.embracetheblessing.com/

Sandy Deppisch:

Hey there, I'm Sandy Deppish, and this is the Embrace the Blessing podcast. Each week, I talk with a parent who has a child with a disability. They share their biggest challenge, their greatest joy and their hopes and dreams for the future. You'll learn about resources available to you and discover helpful hints and tips If you want to be inspired and encouraged, stick around. Let's walk the road less traveled together. Okay, so this week I wanted to share an excerpt from one of the blog posts that I did back in June of 2021. The reason I want to share this is because this seems to be an issue that many parents that have a child with disabilities faces, and so far, we have not found a remedy for this situation. So I'm putting this out there in the hopes that one of our listeners has already figured out the solution to this problem and will readily share it with us, so that those of us who are still struggling will have some success in this area. What I'm talking about is trimming toenails. Fingernails are an issue in and of themselves, but with lots of perseverance and lots of trial and error, we've been able to get my son's fingernails trimmed. It's not pretty, but it's what I would consider a success. However, when we're talking about toenails, oh my goodness, guys, this is an entirely different ballgame. It's just extremely challenging and it's something that has to be done. So I'm going to share the blog post that I wrote. I'll read it to you guys and then, if anybody has an answer, please comment below.

Sandy Deppisch:

Nail care nightmares. Can any of you relate? Your loved ones' nails are incredibly long, desperately in need of a major trim. For the purposes of this scenario, we'll stick to toenails. Lovely, glorious Lord, why do they have to grow so fast? Toenails? Have you ever seen such nails? Can you picture in your mind what they look like? Let me just add they are thick. Now imagine it's your task to trim those nails to a neatly manicured length. And imagine your loved one has no desire for you to get within even six football fields of his feet, let alone up close and personal to his toes.

Sandy Deppisch:

Imagine attempting to trim not just one, but all ten of those toenails. It's paramount to risking life and limb. Are you up for the challenge? Quite frankly, I'm not. I've tried many times, actually, not that long ago, it took four of us to get the job done. Three of us to hold Josiah with a whisperer clipping feverishly, while also tightly gripping the boy so he wouldn't slip away. All of us, including Josiah, were sweaty and exhausted afterwards. Surely this can't be the way it's done, is it? What do you do If this is one of your assigned tasks as a parent or a caregiver of someone with sensory issues? Please share, I am all ears. What tips or techniques have you discovered that make the job easier?

Sandy Deppisch:

Last night, when Rick and I returned from dinner out, josiah was shrieking in the bathroom. It was very clear by the thrust of his tongue he was mad. When Josiah gets angry, he sticks his tongue out and scrunches it up in such a way there is no mistaking he's not having it. Whatever it is, that protruding tongue is usually our first indicator that Josiah is not in pain. He's angry.

Sandy Deppisch:

Apparently, the whisperer had great success clipping the toenails on one foot. Things were going great, which in and of itself is a huge accomplishment and something to be celebrated. It's taken months and months to get to this point. However, as soon as the big toe on the other foot was trimmed, josiah exploded. He went into attack mode on himself and on the whisperer. We weren't there to witness it, but it sounds pretty brutal. Whatever it was that tripped Josiah off, sent him into such a tailspin. He had great difficulty recovering from it. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth. There were racking sobs and real tears. Josiah rarely sheds real tears. We put him to bed and tried to comfort him. We turned on relaxing music and put on a calming aquarium YouTube video on his TV. I climbed in bed with him to rub his back and talk soothingly to him. The whisperer took his hand and talked with him. Another amazing caregiver arrived and brought in Josiah's light up device to distract him.

Sandy Deppisch:

Though the explosion was over, it took quite a while for Josiah to relax enough to fall asleep All this over a toenail, seriously. I researched it today and I discovered there are a few things that may help, like trimming his nails after he's been in a pool or has soaked in the tub, making it a weekly activity so the routine is built into his schedule and he gets used to it. Giving a deep pressure massage to his feet prior to clipping his nails, and using firm pressure, which is more calming than a light touch. My favorite is to provide an I need a break card so Josiah can feel some control over the situation. My guess is that card may be hurled in our faces, but it's worth a shot.

Sandy Deppisch:

This morning Josiah woke up looking as if he'd been in combat. His self-inflicted bruises bring tears to my eyes. Life for this guy, and for many like him, is not easy. I can't begin to imagine how challenging daily existence must feel for him To not be able to express feelings or ideas, to have no voice to convey needs or wants, to be at the mercy of others To figure it all out. And yet this morning, when I went in to check on him, he was sitting up in his bed with a huge grin on his face.

Sandy Deppisch:

Josiah started his day with joy. Wouldn't the world be a much better place if we all chose to live a little more like Josiah? I triple dog dare you. Whatever challenge you are facing today, push through the struggles, live for the joy and if you need a little help in the process, come hang out with us for a while. Josiah is more than happy to show you how. Thanks for listening to the embrace the blessing podcast. Visit embrace the blessingcom slash podcast for show notes and links to any resources mentioned. If this has been beneficial to you, please share it with a friend or post it on your social media pages. Join me next Wednesday for more inspiring stories from people just like you.