ETB 53: What if you could turn the toughest moments of parenting a child with a disability into a source of strength and inspiration? Join me, Sandy Deppisch, as I take you on a roller coaster ride of emotions in the hospital stays that have become an all too frequent part of our lives. You'll learn how to communicate your needs effectively to your support network, and understand the importance of asking for specific help, whether it's a warm blanket or home-cooked meal.
Staying awake through the hospital nights, changing pull-ups, feeding, comforting, and dealing with beeping machines - sound familiar? Let's embark on this journey of shared experiences, struggles and strength, as I read a touching blog post, "Going Home," that vividly portrays our fears, tears, and triumphs. Find out how we can all make a difference by reaching out to each other, and remember that there's always a community ready to lend a hand and a heart. Because parents like us, we're not alone on this road less traveled, and together, we create a realm of understanding and support.
Hey there, I'm Sandy Deppish, and this is the Embrace the Blessing podcast. Each week I talk with a parent who has a child with a disability. They share their biggest challenge, their greatest joy and their hopes and dreams for the future. You'll learn about resources available to you and discover helpful hints and tips If you want to be inspired and encouraged, stick around. Let's walk the road less traveled together, hey guys. So the goal for this podcast is to encourage parents who have a child with a disability to know that sometimes the road is tough, but we are here for each other. Most of us have been through what you might be about to go through or are going through, and hopefully we can share some helpful hints and tidbits to help you navigate this challenging road, sometimes frustrating and overwhelming road. Sometimes things happen where the guests that I have planned for the show aren't able to record their podcast episode, and so at least a gap in the weekly schedule. And that's when I fill in with a short story from one of my blog posts over at EmbraceTheBlessingcom, and this one goes out to all the parents who have children that end up in hospitals. Frequently it's been our case with Josiah. For the first three years of his life. He was hospitalized over 17 times. It's gotten better as he's gotten older and he doesn't end up in the hospital nearly as much, but those visits are not for the faint of heart. So I want to read this to you. It's called Going Home from March 9th of 2012. Keep in mind that I am reading. You know I try so hard to make it sound like I'm just talking, but I'm a former kindergarten teacher and I used to love to read to my class and I just get into that kindergarten teacher voice and it's really hard for me to make it sound like I'm talking. I've even gone so far as to hold my phone up to my ear and pretend I'm talking to you on the phone while I read this, so hopefully it'll sound like I'm talking. It doesn't work, so I'm just going to go ahead and read it. Here we go. Josiah is going home. A team of doctors came in this morning and gave us the thumbs up. Bloodwork shows a strain of something that has too many letters and syllables in it for me to pronounce. Basically, he will need antibiotics for a couple of weeks. We can certainly take care of that at home.
Sandy Deppisch:
This morning at 5 am, a couple of nurses came in Josiah's dark room. He and I were sound asleep. Since last night they have been keeping a close eye on the IV site. It was red and a tad bit swollen. They were able to get his vital signs without disturbing him, but since his arms still looked red, the IV needed to be removed. They flipped on the lights, held him down and removed it. He was not happy about it. They were very gentle with him. They really did a great job. I just felt bad for Josiah. He was in a peaceful, sound sleep and then suddenly he wasn't.
Sandy Deppisch:
Hospital stays are meant to help restore health, which you think would involve plenty of sleep, yet very little sleep happens in a hospital. Every four hours someone checks vital signs. Every few hours someone pops in to ask questions. Every so often someone stops by to offer some insight and share the latest relevant information. Every so often you get a chance to close your eyes for a bit of rest. If you are the patient that is, if you are the mom or dad staying with your child, who is the patient, it's a totally different story Then you are pretty much always awake. It's your job to change the pull-ups, wipe the nose, feed the food, change the wet gown, put the bed up, lower the bed down, answer the questions, ask the questions, comfort the sick child. Buzz the nurse when the IV machine beeps. Buzz the nurse when the IV machine beeps again. And buzz the nurse again when that darn IV machine won't stop beeping.
Sandy Deppisch:
It's your job to be strong when your child is weak. It's your job to keep a running mental list of every single thing your child ate and drank and expelled since the illness began, so you can accurately report it to the medical professionals who ask. It's your job to smile patiently and continue to be polite when four different medical professionals, ie interns stop by five minutes after one another to check on your child every single day, can't they simply share their findings with each other? It's your job to hold your child down as each one checks vital signs, and your child is not wanting anyone to even look at him, let alone touch him. It's your job to be strong so you can hold down that weak child who has strength well beyond his size. It's your job to talk soothingly in his ear as you throw yourself up over the bedrails to literally straddle his body so he remains still during those frequent vital sign checks. It's your job to instantly figure out creative ways to maneuver your body to keep the ninja that is your child from wiggling out from under you while they check his vital signs. It's your job to look polished and sound intelligent and knowledgeable when a team of seven count them seven medical professionals show up with clipboards in hand asking specific questions in the wee hours of the morning. It's your job to pretend a loud alarm sounding just outside the door, signifying a fire drill, has nothing to do with you or your child. It's your job to roll over and try to drown out the noise with a paper thin hospital pillow. And it's your job, when the lights are out and the child is sleeping, to curl up on the rock hard recliner that doubles as a bed to get a restful night of sleep for 15 minutes.
Sandy Deppisch:
If you're currently in this situation where you have a child in the hospital, my heart goes out to you. Hang in there, it does get better. Ask your friends, your family, your neighbors, your church family, your loved ones very specifically for what you need. My favorite thing whenever I was in the hospital with Josiah was a soft, fuzzy, warm blanket. The sheets and blankets in the hospitals are just not warm and they're not comfortable. Another thing to be very specific about is what type of foods you like or your child might like, because we all know hospital food eh, it's not the best.
Sandy Deppisch:
Be specific about what it is you need. If you're craving food from your favorite restaurant and you know you're not gonna get home for a really great home-cooked meal for a while, let your friends know that that's what you would like. If you need someone to come and sit with your child so that you can go home and shower in your own bathroom and sleep in your own bed overnight, let your family know. Reach out and let other people know what you need. People wanna help Sometimes. You just need to let them know what it is that you need. Hang in there, you're gonna get through this. Thanks for listening to the Embrace the Blessing podcast. Visit embracetheblessingcom slash podcast for show notes and links to any resources mentioned. If this has been beneficial to you, please share it with a friend or post it on your social media pages. Join me next Wednesday for more inspiring stories from people just like you.